


Jumpstart

by lqior_astra



Category: The Mentalist
Genre: 3x13 Red Alert, F/M, Fake/Pretend Relationship, General, TM Discord Challenge
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-15
Updated: 2021-03-15
Packaged: 2021-03-24 04:34:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,174
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30066723
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lqior_astra/pseuds/lqior_astra
Summary: Jane and Lisbon are heading back to Sacramento after the events of 3x13, when their car breaks down. Written for the TM Discord Challenge! Prompt: 3x13 Red Alert + Fake Relationship
Relationships: Patrick Jane & Teresa Lisbon, Patrick Jane/Teresa Lisbon
Comments: 6
Kudos: 22





	Jumpstart

**Author's Note:**

> Shoutout to all the lovely people on Discord!! Love y'all!!

Teresa Lisbon was exhausted. Not only had it been one of the more frustrating cases, but her irresponsible consultant got himself held hostage in a city hall building. And that was after he had gotten a speeding ticket, pissed off local law enforcement, and upset the main suspect of their case. 

It had been quite a day. She was unfortunately used to people undermining her authority, no thanks to her lack of control over Jane. 

But everything had ended okay. They closed the case and prevented any casualties, so in the grand scheme of things, Lisbon decided they had done well. She was too amped up to rest on the drive back though and found herself sitting in the passenger seat of the Citroen. The rest of their team had driven the SUV back, but Lisbon had said she wanted to prevent any more traffic violations on Jane’s part. 

“You could have gotten yourself killed today,” she said quietly, watching him. “I don’t know how you manage to get into these kinds of situations so often.” 

“But I didn’t get killed. And it wasn’t my fault. How on earth was I supposed to know Crosswhite would hold up the city hall building?” When she didn’t respond, he continued. “Besides, you’re the one who forced me to pay that ticket.” 

“Shut up,” she said, grinning. “You would have had to pay it anyway!” 

“Some of us are just prone to danger, Lisbon.” 

“Maybe you need some self-defense training, just for future reference.” 

“I don’t,” Jane said indignantly. “That’s why I have you.” 

“I’m not always going to be there to pull you out of these situations, you know that. One of these days you might get stuck.” 

“That’s absurd,” he said, chuckling. “Where else will you be?” 

“Jane.” 

“What? You’re not quitting the job, are you?” 

She looked at him sideways, trying to figure out what he was getting at. “No, and I don’t plan on it anytime soon. But one of us might move on. You know, settle down and start a family, or change careers, or move to a different department. Things change, and you can’t always control it.” 

“Is that something you want? To settle down and start a family?” 

Lisbon got the feeling they were near dangerous territory. “I never said I didn’t want it. There’s a lot to consider. I love kids, always have, but I’m not sure my job is made for a parent. What we do is dangerous, you proved that much today.” 

“So if you did start a family, you wouldn’t be in the field as much.” She nodded. “For what it’s worth, I think you would be a great mom.” 

“Thanks. What about you? Got any plans for the future?”

“Nope. Just the present. After we catch Red John, I think I’ll just go with the flow. See where life takes me. Maybe I’ll buy a motorcycle, drive up the west coast. Or get an Airstream trailer and take a road trip across the country.” 

“So your stereotypical midlife crisis?” Lisbon asked, laughing. 

He frowned. “Not a midlife crisis. A midlife freedom.” 

“Midlife freedom?” 

“Sure. I won’t be bound by the job anymore, so I’ll be free to do whatever I like. And I won’t be in danger of being kidnapped or held hostage by gun-toting suspects, so you won’t have to worry about me.” 

“Somehow, I think I’ll always worry about you.” They were quiet for a moment, Lisbon watching the trees go by out the window. “Did you hear that?” 

“Hear what? It’s silent out here. That’s why I like the country roads.” 

“No, it’s not! Listen.” Before he could protest, she heard the sound again. “Did you hear it that time?” 

“Yeah. I think it’s coming from the engine.” 

“You think?” Lisbon screeched. “There’s a reason I don’t like riding in this car! It’s a piece of junk!” 

“Hey now, don’t take it out on the car.” 

“Did you put gas in it before we left?” she asked condescendingly. 

“Yes. I’m not an idiot. We had a full tank of gas, that’s more than enough to get us back to Sacramento. I’m going to pull over and we can take a look, okay?” 

There was a wide shoulder on the road ahead, and Jane parked the car there, in case any other drivers needed to get by. He raised the hood and Lisbon turned her flashlight on. There was a slight chill in the air, and she pulled her jacket tighter around her arms. After a few minutes of deliberation, Jane stepped back. 

“Well?” she demanded. 

“I’m not sure. It doesn’t seem like anything’s wrong. I’m going to try running it again. Stay here and watch, just to make sure everything looks okay.” 

He hopped back in the driver's seat and the engine roared to life. Everything looked normal to her, but she wasn’t exactly an expert on cars. Especially old pieces of metal like this one. Flashing him a thumbs-up, Jane turned it off, closed the hood, and opened her door. They were all set to leave, but this time when he turned the key, nothing happened. Another try had the engine shuddering and then going silent. 

“Maybe something is wrong,” he suggested childishly. 

“Maybe.” Lisbon rolled her eyes. “What now?” 

“I don’t know. There’s nothing else we can do. Not unless you’ve got some super secret car knowledge and a tool box hidden somewhere.” 

“I don’t have either of those things. You don’t bring tools with you?” 

“Usually, yes. But I loaned my kit to the guard on the second floor last week, he was having some issues with his sedan. So no, I don’t have them with me right now.” 

Lisbon groaned. “You’ve got to be kidding me. Just when I thought this day couldn’t get any worse.” 

“C’mon now. It hasn’t been that bad, has it?” 

She glared at him. 

“Okay, maybe it has. Look, we can’t fix it on our own. You’ve got your phone with you, why don’t you call Van Pelt?” 

Digging her phone out of her pocket, Lisbon dialed Grace’s number. She picked up on the first ring, always eager to help. 

“Boss? Where are you guys?” Van Pelt asked. “We’re already back at headquarters, but we were waiting on you for processing.” 

“Don’t wait up,” Lisbon said, clearly annoyed. “Jane decided to take some back roads and now the car’s not working. It was running fine a minute ago, but now it won’t start at all.” 

“Oh. Do you need someone to come get you?” 

Jane waved at Lisbon, trying to get her attention.

“Jane, I’m on the phone!” Lisbon hissed, swatting his hand away. “Sorry, Van Pelt. If you can send someone out to get us, that would be great. I can give you the road name.” 

“That doesn’t make sense,” Jane interrupted, smoothly grabbing the phone out of Lisbon’s hand. “Van Pelt, you need to call a mechanic. We probably just need a jump, and I’m sure it’s closer to get a mechanic or a tow truck out here than it is for someone to drive all the way from Sacramento.” 

“You sure?” Grace asked. “I don’t mind.” 

Lisbon sighed, but she saw the logic of what Jane was saying. “Jane’s right. Just call a mechanic, tell them to get here as soon as possible.Other than that, I don’t know what else to tell you.” 

“Sure thing, boss. I’ll get someone headed in your direction as soon as possible. Hang in there.” 

“Thanks.” Lisbon hung up the phone, feeling only slightly relieved. 

Jane leaned back in his chair, hands behind his head and eyes closed.

“How are you so calm right now?” Lisbon asked, staring. 

“I’m practicing going with the flow. As you’ve reminded me a few times, I could have been shot today. I’m grateful that I didn’t, and I’m clearing my mind. You’re thinking awfully loudly over there.” 

“Oh, really?” 

“Yes. You’re stressed. Something happened while I was in city hall, didn’t it?” 

“No.” 

“There’s no point in lying to me, Lisbon. You know that. What happened?” 

“The Crane Creek Police Department is a useless boy’s club that can’t recognize authority when it’s staring right at them.” 

“Don’t hold back. Let that anger out.” 

She rolled her eyes. “I had to resort to an anonymous press report to gain control of the situation. Bertram ended up on my side, but none of those locals were happy about it. They don’t like giving up control.” 

“No, they don’t. But you’re not allowed to give unauthorized reports to the press, are you?” 

“Technically, no. I have a feeling I’m going to get my ass handed to me for that one.” 

He opened his eyes. “Why did you do it?” 

“They were going to get the hostages killed. We had no idea if Crosswhite was serious, but even so, you can’t just go into a hostage situation with guns blazing. There’s protocol and strategy involved. I didn’t want anyone to die. Hell, if they had better control of their officers, we could have prevented that woman from getting shot.” 

“Don’t blame yourself, Lisbon.” 

“I’m not blaming myself.” 

“You kind of are. I know you like your authority, and you like to do things a certain way, but sometimes you’re just going to be faced with resistance. That’s not your fault. But you resolved it.” 

“You’re right. At least this case is over now.” 

“We make quite a team,” Jane said, leaning back again. “You’re going to pay my ticket, right?” 

“What? No! I’m not the one who was speeding.” 

“But I’ve had a very long day, Lisbon. I was just held hostage. Surely that amounts to something.” 

“Not in my book. You’re paying for the ticket.” 

Before he could say another word, headlights shone in front of their car. A man got out of the cab and knocked on the window. 

“You folks need some help?” the man asked. “Someone from Sacramento called me.” 

Jane and Lisbon showed the man what was wrong, and how the car refused to start. “Every time I turn the key, it sputters and dies,” Jane explained. 

“Probably just a weak battery,” the mechanic said. “I’ll jumpstart it. Are y’all coming back from a date? It’s a long way to Sacramento.” 

Lisbon blushed bright red and stuttered. “We, uh-” 

“Yes,” Jane said, putting an arm around her waist. “My girlfriend has to work tomorrow, so we were about to call it a night. But our car had other plans. Right, sweetheart?” 

“Um, right.” Lisbon forced a smile at him. “Honey, can I talk to you for a moment?” 

While the mechanic got some jumper cables from the back of his truck, Lisbon pulled Jane aside. “What are you thinking? We’re not dating.” 

“Lisbon, we’re never going to see this guy again. He has no idea who we are. It’s fun to pretend sometimes, right? Live someone else’s life?” 

“Sure, but what’s the point in lying to him?” 

“Do you really want to explain that we’re coming back from solving a murder in Crane Creek? It would put quite a damper on the small talk, wouldn’t it?” 

“I suppose. But I think it’s dumb.” 

“Five minutes, Lisbon. You only have to pretend for five minutes, and then we can drive away and pretend none of this ever happened.” 

“Fine.” She clasped his hand in hers, and walked back to where the man was hooking up jumper cables. “It’ll be road safe, won’t it?” 

“Sure will,” he answered, starting up his truck. “You’ll be good to go in a few minutes.” 

“Great. Patrick and I don’t want to find ourselves stuck again, so we appreciate your help.” 

“No problem, little lady.” He unhooked the cables. “You folks have a good night.” 

“You too,” Lisbon echoed, watching him drive away. She was still holding Jane’s hand. 

They got back in the car and Jane started the engine without issue. His left hand was on the wheel, leaving the other to rest comfortably on the console between their seats. Without another thought, Lisbon reached over and laced her fingers with his. 

He looked surprised. 

“It’s comfortable,” she explained weakly. “I’m less stressed out now.” 

He nodded. “I thought you didn’t want to pretend.” 

“I didn’t. I don’t. But this isn’t pretending, it’s just comfy.” 

Jane wouldn’t admit it to her, but the tiny grin she gave him as she rubbed her thumb over the back of his hand was worth everything. He would be willingly held hostage a hundred times over if it meant he could see her like this. Heart unbelievably light, he filed the image away in his memory palace, in the wing dedicated just to her. 

Neither of them mentioned it again, but even after they let go, Lisbon could still feel his hand in hers. She smiled softly to herself as she played the memory on repeat. She may not have a memory palace like his, but she knew it wasn’t something she was going to forget.


End file.
